Moving from Surviving to Thriving

When the ball dropped to ring in the new year, I always feel like it's an awesome opportunity for a fresh start.  Personally, I like the hopefulness about it - it's like you can shed the previous struggles and open your fresh wings in the new year.

I really appreciate Coach Jenn who I had the pleasure of meeting at last year's MomCon who recommended for 2014, setting a theme vs a resolution.  For me, this year's theme will be moving from "surviving" as a mom with twins to "thriving."

What does that mean for me?

- Getting a handle on the physical chaos that our home can be in - from messes to heaps of laundry and household maintenance put off for the tenth time.

- Doing more than just getting through our days, but having intentional play and activities to enrich the kids development.

- To work on our personal well being, which for me means showering more than once every three days and occasionally using all the fancy shmancy makeup that I've collected.  It also means getting enough rest, drinking enough water, and eating better.

So where has that left me and how are we doing?  I have to say that I think we're really on track here a full month into the new year!  I've been using the flylady system (with some adaptations) to get a system in place to control our chaos.  I've been working on "theme weeks" for the kids that will bring together our crafts, field trips, songs, books, activities and more to help us develop some recognition and stay occupied.  And I'm doing quite a bit better with the personal well being, by trying to get dressed every day* and being more conscientious in what I'm eating.

I did cancel my weight watchers membership last night - and it's not because I don't want to eat better - but for me, in this moment, shifting my focus to these other elements really takes away from my time to do some other things, including track food.  Like I recently mentioned - I haven't been making many hair bows, nor have I been blogging a WHOLE lot (still working on that) but I think part of thriving is taking time to reevaluate the daily priorities.  Today, we're still in survival mode, but slowly but surely - I think we're going to make it there sometime in 2014!

Carnegie Science Center: Field Trip Friday

During these super cold Pittsburgh days, I'm longing for something to get us out of the house and keep us busy.  While Dan might think I'm collecting new museum memberships just as fast as I'm collecting new ribbons, I have no regrets in our recent purchase of a Carnegie Museum Membership.

One of my favorite things about their membership in comparison to some others is that the membership can be in the name of one adult for a two adult pass.  Which means that I can take my husband, my mom, OR a girlfriend.  As children aged two and younger are free, we luck out only needing a Dual membership to cover our needs.

While there are TONS of things to do at the science center, for right now, we hang out mainly in the Exploration Station Jr. on the fourth floor.  This one area is enough to keep us busy for at least an hour or two, which is about the extent of our outings.

One of the main highlights of the activity area, for kids aged 3-6, is the giant water table. Complete with fountains, streams, lots of balls, funnels, scoops and more - it's the first place my kids run when arriving.  I hustle to strap them into the provided smocks before they get their clothes soaked.  If your kids are like mine though, smocks don't offer much protection.  I dress them in layers to keep long sleeves from dipping into the drink, and bring extra clothes all the way down to alternate shoes.  SUPER fun and worth the drive down all on it's own!

Other amusements include a GIANT Operation game, letter blocks, lots of books, miscellaneous building materials, and a favorite bin full of stethoscopes and otoscopes.

Above our heads, a climbing apparatus reminiscent of your local playground gives kiddos a view from the top.  No slides necessary, but lost of portholes and stairs for little climbers.

There are more ball gizmos than a kid can handle at the Science Center.  Load them into buckets, shove them into a suction tube, or crank them through a tunnel - all path leads to a holding area above you.  Once enough balls have been loaded, the bell will ring and you'll be showered by balls from above.

What else can you do with your toddler at Carnegie Science Center?
- Meet a friend in the lot tunnels (top left)
- Brush a set of giant dentures, sit on some molars and pose next to a huge toothbrush (top center)
- Pretend to be a farmer (top right)
- Play a tune using unusual percussion instruments (bottom left)
- Visit the resident reptiles (bottom center)
- Get building with these gigantic lego-esque blocks. (bottom right)

We also enjoyed a trip through the miniature railroad and had a bite to eat in the cafeteria.  Definitely enough fun for (at least) a monthly trip to keep us entertained - we can't wait to go back!  Hopefully we'll be able to share more of the fun in a future Field Trip Friday post!

*Thanks to our friends Katie and Audrey for joining us!  Check out Katie's blog at http://b00kends.blogspot.com/!*

The Science Center is also offering special activities on Muchkin Mondays!  Who's joining us next time?  




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GoldieBlox: Good for Girls?

The internets are all a twitter about GoldieBlox - whose superstar Super Bowl ad has put them at the top of facebook's trending topics.  But the buzz is not all positive, criticizing GoldieBlox for their targeted marketing of "gender normative" girls.  Criticisms about product quality, copyright infringement, Chinese labor, and the need for "girl friendly" products drawing the interest of young girls into the STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math).

While I can't speak about the product quality or the politics of the product, I just can't help but add my two cents about the need for "girl friendly products."  So many critics, including many female STEM professionals and strong minded feminists are sharing their beliefs that our girls don't need gendered building and technology toys in order to be interested in STEM.  Generally, the perspective is that we should bring these general building and technology toys out of the "boy" rhelm, and into one of gender neutrality, where girls can engage with these toys in the same manor as the boys do.  Some have even gone as far as to call GoldieBlox's toys "sexist."

And while I am a passionate feminist, with a background in sex and gender studies, I also worked for five years for the Girl Scouts - for a number of those years focusing in STEM programming.  I couldn't agree more that we should be working constantly to "de-gender" many of the toys our children play with, I'd also argue that we don't have the time to wait until these changes are made.

The Girl Scouts have done tremendous research in the past few years about the opinions and experiences of girls in STEM.  There have been two major conclusions that I think speak to support GoldieBlox's attempts to make a unique toy appealing to today's girls.

First, the research is showing that girls enjoy different type of activities with their STEM experiences - primarily in "creation" or "helping" experiences.  So for instance, one of the programs I helped develop while working for the Girl Scouts were those that allowed girls to tell their stories through digital design such as with the ALICE programming software.

Secondly, we know that girls who consider themselves "into" STEM also have much more support from their families, are more likely to be high school and college graduates, and more likely to believe that they deserve equal wages.  Those elements all make it seem like liking STEM make a girl more likely to succeed - but I argue that it actually is the opposite.  I would consider this data to show that girls who are supported, confident and been exposed to egalitarian ideals, are the ones who are most likely going to perceive themselves as "STEM-Girls."

But what about the rest of our girls - those who don't have the same supports and exposures?  Don't they too deserve every opportunity to stretch their mental wings and become our nations best innovators?

And so I argue, just as a mother would, that sometimes we need a "stealth approach" to help our youth have those things that they need - even if they aren't savvy enough to choose it themselves.  When I ran a STEM Conference in my former position, I avoided dry workshops about algebra or physics - but instead - we learned the chemistry of cosmetics in making lip balms and bath bombs.  We learned about solubility in tie-dying with sharpie markers.  We taught them about digital media and programming with iphone apps.  We learned about carbon footprints and had a fashion show out of recyclables.

Some might think that we "dumbed down" the science for these girls - but that's not it at all.  We made science fun and accessible to ALL girls, not just those who thought they liked science.  If the CSI workshop inspires them to take biology, or if making a candy model of a nuclear reactor sparks their interest and empowers their confidence to further explore their interests, I have no regrets in "pinking things up."

As a mom, I work my absolute hardest to limit the gender defining influences by which my kids will undoubtedly be influenced.  I know though, that from the moment we turn on the television, read a book or play with friends - I am powerless to block all of the world's influence on how my children "should do" their gender.  That's not an excuse to lay back and not fight the fight, but a sensible acknowledgement that today's girls ARE influenced by the world's media.  They may not be confident enough to pull out a box of Kinex or ask for a Lego Robot for their birthday.  I hope that someday, they all get there.

But in the meantime, if GoldieBlox's Spining Machine or Parade Float gets one more girl interested in STEM - if one more disease is cured because a girl inspired by a GoldieBlox product becomes a scientist - have they been so damaging to the landscape of STEM Girls?  I used to tell my program partners, "while you're the expert in your field, I'm the expert at girls."  While there may undoubtedly be higher quality building toys that can teach more complex concepts, if they're unattractive to the "everygirl" are they helpful?  I'm so glad that there are many girls out there who are comfortable with neutral toys for building and innovating, but lets not forget the rest of our girls.  The ones who are a little less confident and a little less exposed, just might need GoldieBlox to "pink it up" to get their attention.

Single Mom Salute

Dan recently traveled to Puerto Rico to celebrate his brother's bachelor party - leaving us for three long nights.  Of course, my wonderful mom was here, but it's not quite the same.  The experience left me tired, and so thankful and appreciative for all of the support he provides.

From being Mr. Clean, to helping get the kids dinner, to handling the dogs, and getting the kids ready for bed - he is a HUGE help in making our day successful.  Even having a dishwasher full of clean sippy cups can make your morning go well (and in contrast, a sink full of dirty cups and thirsty kids makes it not so easy).  I realized it's the little things that really show what a parenting team we are.

I was doing it all - breakfast to bedtime - with the extra chores of dogs, laundry, garbage, and even shoveling the driveway.  To make matters worse, Brayden had quite the stomach bug with cleanup duties on both ends.

I know I have been truly BLESSED to have a husband like Dan, and with any luck, I'll be posting our whole "love story" for posterity sake sometime before Valentine's Day.  It is such a dark contrast though when he's gone that I realize how spoiled I am!

It's gotten me thinking about all the single moms out there, and the military spouses who are acting as both Mom and Dad when their partner is away.  You have my absolute and utmost respect.  I am honestly not sure I could do what you do and still have the energy to have patience and kindness for my kids.  You're amazing...

I remember worrying last year that Dan would be going on a business trip to China for a week, and was venting to some friends about my fears.  A number of them were active military wives who had been without their spouses much longer than my measly week, and while I first had my back up a little at their dismissal of my worries - I do understand that my small bits of solitary parenting are nothing in comparison with long deployments.  I do know though, that I stink at handling this alone, and it just reinforces my appreciation for all that military families give up for our country.

In the near future, unfortunately, we'll be without him again.  He'll be traveling to the Virgin Islands for his brother's wedding and I'll be here with the kids for five nights.  It just wasn't feasible to take two kids to a tropical island (especially in covering the cost of two additional plane tickets, finagling an attempt to keep them quiet and calm during the ceremony alone, plus it's not a great idea for our delayed vaccination kiddos) - nor did it make sense for me to leave them here with Mom while we both went.  I might be a bit of a worrier "logical voice of reason and concern" but I hesitate to go anywhere so remote that I might not be able to get home within 24 hours should my kids need me.

I'm sure we'll make it through alright.  With any luck the weather will have warmed just enough to allow us to leave our little hibernation cave and get out into the sunshine.  In the meantime, we are all SURELY glad to have him back home.

Not-So-Terrible Twos

So our posts have been a little spare here lately but apparently, there's this thing called "terrible twos" that has suddenly effected my kids and left me exhausted!  I'm kidding really (about the terrible part, not the exhausted part) but Brayden and Julie have suddenly discovered that they can demand request my help or presence - and since we've been working on requesting, I almost always oblige.

In a typical day, this might include typical things, like being led to the fridge for a cup of milk or to the train table for some play time.  Brayden will occasionally just put a random body part to my mouth, since everyone knows Mommy kisses magically make everything "all better." Sometimes it's a little more unusual, for instance when Julie will drag me to the middle of the room and stuff the corner of our fleece blanket into my hand in an attempt to force me to do a "blanket swing" for her.  We've had instances of Julie believing that she can grab the back of my hand and use it to steal things from her brother since she knows she's not supposed to herself.  Today, she grabbed my hands and placed them on her shirt - after she'd removed her pants - so that she could strip down a bit.  I love that they're being so intentional and realizing the power in requesting - if only we could get some more words flowing!  You'd think that saying "milk" would be less effort than dragging Mom through the house but clearly not.  None the less, we're committed to reinforcing the behavior, so when the babes say jump, I say "how high."

This is a bit tiring to say the least though, so it's been limiting the energy I have to blog or make hair bows.  I keep trying to give myself a break though - the blog will still be here, and so will GiggleBuzz when the time comes and I can get back to things.  I do feel bummed in the meantime that my website is still featuring fall hairbows instead of holiday or valentine's day!

These babes will never be in this stage again and so I'm just sucking up every sweet moment and taking each challenge with joy.  Despite the days where I'm desperate for a break or counting down the minutes until naptime, I wouldn't have it any other way.