Weekend Update

Just a little update from our little family.  We had such a nice weekend, I thought I'd share!

We started out with the babies much delayed Bubble Guppies Birthday party.  Having Christmas birthdays is such a tough thing and I haven't quite settled on the best way to navigate this.  A week earlier is Dan's birthday, so that makes an early party tough.  We've considered celebrating summer "half birthdays" but that doesn't sit right either.  It's tough for them to have to share a birthday - and then it be right on top of the holiday.  But despite, we thought we'd celebrate this year in February once all the other business and seasonal flu had cleared and we could focus our attention on throwing a fun party.  We'll be doing a whole post about our party details, but here's a sneak preview!

Saturday gave us a nice opportunity to enjoy Phipps Conservatory during their "We Love Our Members" free event for members of reciprocating museums.  While it was quite a bit crowded, it was an awesome day to spend indoors - while still allowing the beautiful sun and blue skies to shine down on us.  Look out for a post about our trip for an upcoming Field Trip Friday post!

Coming home from the conservatory, we decided to pull ourselves together and try to make it to church for the six o'clock service.  While Dan and I have been visiting this church for about a month and am loving almost everything about it, this was the very first time we'd be bringing the kids.  It is HUGE, and while it means we haven't had the opportunity to develop many personal relationships with other members, it means that there are fantastic children's programs, and lots of opportunities for fellowship and learning.  So I was terribly anxious - how would they react?  They've never been in anyone else's care other than family and a few specially chosen babysitters.  I prayed the whole way there that they'd handle it well.

At this point in my life, I should really have learned to stop "worrying" so much and trust that He always takes care of our needs.  Too many times I panic and become consumed by anxiety - only for God to come through and remind me that my worrying was all for nothing.  Saturday was no different.  We checked the kids in with their kiosks and headed to the 2-year-old room.  They opened the half door - and off my kids ran.  Straight to the train table, without looking back.  What an awesome blessing to avoid tears of separation.  We kept watching, but their numbers never came across the screens to alert us that they needed us.  They'd had their first successful church experience, and seemed to have really enjoyed it!  What a great experience and we're looking forward to many more.

So to end our update, I'll leave you with a few "Julie-isms."  Her words are just pouring out and we couldn't be happier.  I can't even list all the ones she uses, since she pop ups every day with new ones!  Here's a few things that have made me smile lately.

• Julie got a new princess dress - with "uh-punul" (Rapunzel) on it.  She is so stinking adorable in this dress, which Brayden likes to bring me to put on his sister.  I loved seeing the look in Dan's eyes when he came home from work and saw her wearing it (over her sleeper) for the first time.  She really looks like a little girl and no longer our baby.
• I just can't get enough of her little phrases - like "ah-hoo" which I believe is her word for "woo-hoo."  Whenever she's having a great time or riding her Rody Horse, she'll say "ah-hoo ah-hoo" and you know she's having a great time.  Interestingly - this is also the word she uses when pretending to sneeze.
• Finally, this little doll is loving to pretend to go to sleep - pulling the covers to her shoulders and "snoring." I just have to smile as I have distinct memories of doing the same as a kid.  I love seeing her discover and grow into this incredible little girl.

Julie at Two!

The babies have just had their second birthday this December and  thought  it would be the perfect time for an update.  Since Julie celebrated one short minute before her brother she is (as always) up first.

Isn't she just gorgeous?  She's always on the move, so sometimes a smiling portrait is tough - but I just love this picture of here.  Here she is - Julie at Two!

Height and Weight: 36 inches tall and 31.5 lbs

Wearing: 2T-3T

Favorite Food: Blueberries, Cheese, Noodles

Loves to...: Snuggle, sleep, watch Disney movies, ride on Mom's shoulders, get tickled, help in the kitchen, paint, draw, color, play with stickers, climb on everything!  She likes to play with Mommy's hair - especially using her new play brushes and hair dryer.  She adores stacking blocks (and anything else possible).  She's not really into baby dolls yet, but loves taking baths and playing with all of her bath toys. She loves to label everyone's "eyes, nose, hair, ears, and tongue" and is a bit of a dare devil.  Julie loves to get reactions from people - and will chase us with dinosaurs and sharks so that we squeal with fear. 

Favorite Toys: Little People, hair accessory set, nesting dolls, pop up boxes, easel, doctor's set

Favorite Show: Bubble Guppies, Doc McStuffins, Sophia the First, Toy Story

Word List: Mama, Dada, Ga, Pap, Nana (banana), hi, oh-no, boy/"bway" (for Brayden), more, car, please, bye, choo-choo, eyes, nose, hair, ear, "git", kitty, pig, cow, duck, dog, "jewy" (Julie), me (interchangeable for mine), thank you, Mickey, Woody, Buzz, one, two, three, four, five, red, green, blue, up, cookie, cheese - and probably many more I can't think of at the moment!

Biggest Accomplishments: Julie is making GREAT developmental strides!  We love seeing all the fantastic eye contact that has been a challenge for her in the past.  She is learning to communicate so beautifully and really able to express her desires.  We recently made the switch to a "big girl" toddler bed and after many nights of 4 a.m. escape, we're finally finding some consistency sleeping through the night again.  She's a wonderful little artist and enjoys using all sorts of art supplies to make little creations.  And while this is a strange accomplishment 

What an awesome kid!  We absolutely adore this little sweetheart.

They are who we teach them to be

Dan spent the morning outside, edging the front landscape with a shovel and wheelbarrow.  Nose to the glass of our front window, Brayden was watching his every move.  Since Brayden is typically better listener (for the moment) I asked Dan if he'd mind if Brayden came out to "help" for a bit.  For the next two hours, Brayden was right at his dad's side, quietly watching him work.  I asked Dan how things went when he brought the extra dirt around to the woods behind out house - how he carried Brayden while pushing the wheelbarrow.  He said it was not a problem because Brayden instinctively followed along, knowing right where he was supposed to be.

Later today, I had been napping and Dan and the kids came to wake me up.  Not one to waste an opportunity to connect, Dan laid next to me for moment with his head on my chest.  We're a pretty romantic pair (amazing after twins) and I gently ran my fingers through the back of his hair and ran my hand up and down his back.  Julie popped up on the ottoman next to our bed (their stepping stool) and stood there for a second staring at us.  After taking us in, she smiled and just watched us love one another.  I said to my husband "Just look at her - she's learning how you love someone!"  and that's truly what she was doing.

At 18 months old, I have been told their brains are like little sponges, absorbing every subliminal lesson, unintentional associations and bits of social programming that surround their little lives.  While we think we're teaching body part identification, colors and animals, what they're truly learning is how they will view and navigate this world in which they are a part.

That, truly scares the hell out of me.  No really - it does.  I'm terrified of having these little eyes (and mouths and hearts) watching my every move, and LEARNING FROM WHAT I DO!  Yes, in those sweet moments, Dan and I have a great connection, but what about when I undermine his authority and question his decision - am I teaching them to respect him?  When I get frustrated that I've lost the keys and the sippy cup has spilled and there's no more milk, and someone'e missing a shoe - will they sense and inherit my stresses?  When my dogs are begging for my dinner or sitting on top of my craft supplies and I yell "GIT!!!" - are they learning to be kind and loving to our pets?  While they're not yet too talkative, what about the words I say?  Are they the words I would be proud to hear come out of their little mouths?

Today has been such a deep reminder that these children, my babies, they will grow to be who we teach them be.  And these lessons are rarely intentional, but instead the classroom exists in our own subtle reactions and responses.

I consider my faith.  How are my babies seeing me share my faith with the world?  Are they seeing God's light through me in a way that will someday teach them to seek Him and have a light of their own?

While I wish the answers to all of these things were positive, that they were learning perfectly from what I do, I know that perfect parenting doesn't exist.  We all do things we're not proud to do and "do as I say, not as I do" is a phrase that many families live by.  But I want so much more than that for them.  I want them to value who they are, because I am proud of what they have learned from me.  I want them to find respect me as I have shared values that I would be proud for them to have.

And amazingly, as I am considering how I need to become better - for their sake, I realize how they intrinsically make me a better person for caring.  |

I have mentioned to my mother how someday I want to make sure I take excellent care of her as she ages, because I will hope that my children would do the same for me when it's my turn.  I can only hope that I can impart enough kindness, integrity and patience that they will walk my path behind me.


  

Meet Julianna at One

As our blog "restarts," I thought it might be the perfect time to reintroduce each of my "two."  Since she is technically my oldest (by one minute) I'll give you an update on Julianna first.  How far she's come since I last introduced her, about a month before her birth!

Julianna Marie

Nicknames: Julie, Julie-Bean, Beanie Baby, Beans, Princess, Beaners, Honey Bean (basically anything BUT Julianna)

Size: Currently wearing 18 months - will update with height and weight after our upcoming doctors appt.
Favorite Song: You Are My Sunshine
Favorite Food: Mandarin Oranges
Favorite Toys: Gymnic Rody Horse, Fisher-Price Little People Disney Princess Songs Palace, Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Learning Home
Favorite TV Show: Bubble Guppies
Favorite Animal: Dogs
Vocabulary: Mama, Dada, Uh-Oh and most recently "Hi"
Tickle Spots: Shoulders and Feet

Julies' spirit is just so joyful, silly, and spunky.  She always has a smile, and is filled with wild noises.  She loves to hold her hand in the air and holler like she's proclaiming something for the world to listen.  Julie's born to be a performer, hopping on every "stage" (ie box) that she can find.

She just began walking a few weeks ago, and is already tottering around everywhere.  She's a girly girl with bows in her hair, and pretty dresses, even giving us a "twirl" in her Christmas dress.  Julie despises socks, and likes shoes even less.  "Bling" is one of her favorite things, as is every texture of fabric that she comes across.  Julie's giggles are the most beautiful noise in the entire world.  God made her so perfectly, just for me. :-)

Late Night Breastfeeding Ramble

Warning:  This post is about breastfeeding.  I try not to post about it much, but just wanted to give you a heads up and an opportunity to back away now if you feel the need.

(a stream of conscious writing to organize my thoughts and clear my head)

This past week, Julianna had quite an accident.  It’s a really long story that I’m not comfortable going into much detail about quite yet, but needless to say it was an ordeal that included a lengthy experience in the ER and an overnight admission at Children’s Hospital.  When we arrived at 11 p.m., I hadn’t pumped since around 5.  This is pretty typical for my days recently, and not a huge concern.  As we reached a very emotional 2:30 am, I was feeling really engorged and even started leaking through my shirt (which NEVER happens to me).  Finally, I talked to a nurse who found me a pump and a lactation lounge and away I went.  Armed with a pair of 2 oz bottles and an empty 20 oz water bottle, my aunt and I took to the task of me pumping while she attempted to unscrew and empty the small bottles into the large one.  I was shocked at how quickly I filled those tiny 2 oz bottles that once took me ten minutes to fill in my early days!  So here we are like wild women, trying to just get me empty enough to be comfortable so I can get back to my sweet baby, and give that baby something to drink when she was ready for it.  I pumped about 10 oz total, and then stopped.  This was probably only half of what I had in me, but without a hands free bra, I wasn’t going any longer than I had to.  The next morning, I was up at 6, and by 9 am was pumping again – this time with a basket full of 2 oz bottles and my dear husband had the task of helping me.  I pumped to empty, and then resumed normal pumping later that day around 4 p.m.

Since this time, I have seen a dramatic drop in my output – about 50% of what I typically produce.  Could it be that my body thinks that my babies are done and has decided it doesn’t need to produce as much because of the few times I didn’t pump completely?  Julie’s accident was of course tremendously stressful, so could it be stress effecting my body?  I’ve been so close to my edge lately that I’m crying at the most frivolous things – like the Chinese takeout order being wrong or my mom suggesting a nap schedule.  Somedays feel like I’m not only loosing my identity, but also my mind!

 I have been so busy that I’ve hardly had the time to drink the water as I need to, and I’m sure this has some effect as well.  On top of everything, the night after I got home, I woke up sick in the middle of the night, and have had a terrible sinus infection since.  Could the infection cause a temporary drop?

Regardless of the how or why, it’s clear that my milk is not doing well these days.  I can’t help but begin to wonder if it’s time to turn off my pump, and pull out the formula checks.  My babies are used to formula and tolerate it well enough – it’s just that I DO believe that breastmilk is what’s best for them, and provides so many benefits.  If I didn’t believe it with all of my heart, I wouldn’t be tethered to the pump for at least 2 hours a day.

I know it’s possible to come back from all this – drink more water, take the fenugreek, Gatorade, probably cut back on my caffeine to help me relax, and most of all, pump more often.  I know all of these things, but yet I’m beginning to question if it’s WORTH fighting for.  My babies are almost 6 months old – my initial breastfeeding goal.  I’ve helped give their little bodies a jump started immune system and done my very best this long.

The thing I guess I question most is the value…  Is pumping for two hours each day worth only being able to produce half of my babies daily needs?  What happens if I drop even farther – is a fourth of their needs worth two hours?  An eighth? Will quitting give me more freedom and less stress, making me a happier twin mamma – or will it give me guilt for not hanging in there longer? 

As I’ve said so many many times before, the hardest part is when you want to do what’s best for your family, but “what’s best” is so unclear. 

Most likely, I’ll keep on for at least another week, when the babies have their “half birthday” on the 22^nd, and see how I’m feeling.  We’re going to a wedding this weekend and the babies will be with my family, drinking mostly milk frozen from my early days.  Hopefully coming back with a cooler full of milk pumped from this weekend will help me keep up with their demands for the short term, and will buy me some time to make my decisions.  Maybe a weekend away will leave me a little rejuvenated and help my stress as well. 

This mom stuff is not easy huh?

Perfectly Painted Pretty Little Piggies

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home.  This little piggy had roast beef..."

Julie and I have been playing this game for a few weeks now, and she's just starting to giggle and smile as she feels the tickle on her toes.  And her toes are of course - perfectly adorable.  But my years of fantasizing about all the girlie things my daughter and I will do have gotten the best of me, and those tiny little toes are just a bit too tempting to resist.  I couldn't help it - they had to be painted.

I waited until she was three months old, I didn't want to be unreasonable of course!  And yes, my mother has warned me that babies put everything in their mouths - including their toes.  Considering this, I figured it was important to go in search of a baby friendly nail polish as my personal fave OPI was chalk full of toxins and chemicals certainly not toe-sucking friendly.

When I came across Piggy Paint I thought I may have found exactly what I was looking for.  A great variety of colors, reasonable prices, and (most importantly) baby safe.  Their slogan is "natural as mud," and the paint contains no toxins or harsh chemicals.  It's biodegradable and water soluble making it eco-friendly.  It's so gentle, it will come off with rubbing alcohol, and is unlikely to stain carpets.

I gave it a try and loved the results!  We ordered both paint, remover and a paint pen, which made painting teensy tiny toenails a breeze.  The color had great saturation and looked super after a few coats.

Here's what I picked:

The Cuddles and Kisses Gift Set

Angel Kisses Paint Pen

For our first pedicure attempt we used the Angel Kisses Paint Pen and I think Julie loves it!  Here she is today checking out her own fabulous feet.

Perfectly Pink Piggies

I'm totally a fan and can't wait to continue the fun of showing off her pretty paint job throughout the summer. Next time Julie and I play "this little piggy" - that last little pig will finally have something to cry "wheeeee" about on his way home.

This review is not endorsed, or encouraged by Piggy Paint nor was I compensated in any manor for my opinions.

A Tale of a Poopy Princess

There once was a perfect little princess named Julie who liked to snooze without worry and spend her days lounging in pink.  She was particularly excited one evening when her Daddy came home, cuddled her in his lap, and fed her a bottle of milk.  Little Julie was enjoying her late evening meal, when all of a sudden, her Daddy exclaimed  with terror "Oh God!  She's pooping on me!"

Julie's Grammy sprang into action to pick up Julie from her frantic father. Grammy was shocked to discover a poopy puddle on the ground!  Amazingly the poopy little princess had managed to poop out the top of her diaper, and onto the floor - thus sparing her precious little polka dot pants.

 The Poopy Puddle

Princess Julie's Shocked Reaction

 Brayden - Unfazed

The Frustrated Father with his Carpet Steamer

Meet Julianna

Ever since I was in my mid-teens, I've known (well - hoped and prayed at least) that someday I'd have a lovely little girl.  Her name would be Julianna Marie and I would have so much fun being her mom.  When we found out that we were pregnant, deep in my heart I so hoped that this would be my chance to meet this special little girl, but already was pretty sure that I was carrying a boy.  So when we discovered that there were two - I had a spark of hope that now would be our time.

When we had our ultrasound, the tech (of course) determined the sex of our son first.  When she said that Baby B was a girl, my heart leaped for joy.  We are so blessed to have the both of best worlds.  While Dan's always dreamed of playing ball with a son, he too is so thrilled to experience the joys of a daughter.  She will be such a special girl.

Luckily, Dan also loved the name that I'd chosen for her over ten years ago - Julianna - pronounced JEW-LEE-YANNA (with the end rhyming with "Hanna").  While I know I'll never be able to prevent people from their own pronunciations of her name, we much prefer this to JEW-LEE-AWNA which sounds a little more "eastern European" to us.  I already call her "Julie" more than anything else...

She is my little feisty girl.  While Brayden is crowded on the left side, Julie is sprawled out on the right along my whole side.  She loves to kick and I can often see the right half of my stomach moving and shaking as she gets comfortable.  Julie lets me know when she's not content.  For instance, when I lay on my right (where she'd be on the bottom) she kicks and kicks until I flip over.  She also loves music...  Whenever I play something loudly in the car, she wiggles around like she's dancing in their - especially when I sing along.  I dream of her being a little Irish Step Dancer someday.

I've told my mother that I think I may be carrying a mini-me - feisty and spirited.  If this is the case, boy are we in for an adventure!

My hopes as a mother are that she'll grow to learn how special and unique she is.  I want her to believe in herself without question, and know that she can accomplish anything she puts her mind to.  She will do incredible things with her life, and I can't wait to see who she becomes.