Snip Snip Sniffle

When Brayden got his hair trimmed right around his first birthday, I was so proud of what a champ I was!  Not a sniffle to be snuffed or a tear to be trickled.  I was just so glad to see that little "rat tail" disappear!

But lately, my adorable little shaggy "surfer boy" has been having trouble seeing through the hair hanging in his eyes, and I knew it was time.  So since my mom was ready to head home after spending most of last week here making piles of hair bows, we figured we better get out the scissors.

Brayden did so well, munching on his chocolate, sucking down a "squish pouch" and laughing at his Dad's distracting antics.  I on the other hand did not fair as well - tearfully looking away as my baby turned into a little boy right before my eyes.  (Here I go again - waterworks as I type).  And I know how ridiculous it is -  he's still the same Brayden with or without his hair.  But I struggle knowing that it'll never be quite the same.
My Dad tried reminding me that I haven't lost anything, just have lots of things to look forward to with each age.  Sorry to say, that doesn't make it any easier.  I realize how blessed I am every day and, much like a little child, feel like I like these days the best.

And in my own feminist ways, I make it more complicated than it probably is - pondering how for the first time, cultural norms have physically altered his appearance.  Julie's feminine curls still hang from her head while Brayden's waves are on my deck.  It's just the beginning of the man he'll have to become - the man that will grow up and move away to lead his own family.  Yes, I know I'm probably taking it a little far, but I'm a sappy mama here and my mind has a tenancy to take things down the road a bit.

He looks handsome and I'm sure I'll get used to it.  My mom did a great job courtesy of youtube and her 20 year past experiences.  In the meantime though, I'm going to pout and wait for it to grow back.

For your comparison - Brayden before and after his "sheering."

So Big...

I laid there in bed tonight, waiting for Brayden to fall asleep, staring at his little toes.  "Little" being the operative word as they are no longer "tiny."  When did this happen?  I have been sorting through last summer's clothes for our upcoming consignment sale and even clothes from nine months ago seem so small.  Everyone says to capture each moment in your heart as these "baby days" are fleeting.  Each day they must grow such a tiny bit that it truly has snuck up on me.

Looking at pictures, I'm shocked at how their faces have changed.  Brayden looks like a little boy already, and Julie's baby face has thinned and become more feminine with her lovely wisps of curl.  It's incredible really.

And while I reminisce over the memory of these tiny beings, I wouldn't replace these days with those days for anything in the world.  Julie has learned to blow kisses and immitate Dan's "evil laugh" (think "mwa-ha-ha-ha").  Brayden's independence is remarkable, but I have to admit that I love the moments where he turns back to me for security.  He adores playing with other boys especially.  Their rambunctious chase just speaks to the boyish spirit within him.  Julie has begun to snuggle which was so unlike the baby she used to be.  Brayden adores his Dad and is so busy putting little people in every hole and crevice.  They both love the dogs.

Yes these days are some of the best.  And so it's been my nightly prayer that I can work to always put them first and not miss a moment.  I'm always busy... I'm a do-er, not a watcher, and sometimes find it difficult to not be in the middle of a project.  Lazy days are just not in my nature.  So staying home I've filled the gap with playdates to plan, consignment sales to coordinate, and GiggleBuzz which certainly keeps me busy preparing for my first upcoming craft show.  It's so easy to focus on my to-do list and forget to sit and play, read, sing and dance with them as much as I should.  Maybe working moms aren't the only ones struggling with balance.

But those tiny toes, now transformed into little feet, remind me how quickly they grow and that I'm blessed to be witness to every moment.